The importance of being skanky

Garnett Publishing, Inc.
by Dane Hicks

One of the bitter ironies of feminist culture involves its love/hate relationship with being skanky. And our daughters, even in small towns in Kansas, are paying the price.

On one hand the message to teen girls and young women is “be skanky, be empowered,” and on the other is “don’t allow men to objectify you.” It’s a bipolar theme at best, and regardless, comes at a cost to be borne by those who choose to be loose.

         That’s not to say that there aren’t consequences for boys and young men who play their role in skank culture – think Anthony Weiner – and those consequences are completely justified. It’s a 50/50 deal, certainly – but there are unique impacts on women in the eyes of culture and society that make their repercussions different. That may not be fair, but it is the way it is.

         You can blame it on a host of factors – the third generation of the sexual revolution; the Internet and Social Media; a liquid-brained popular culture whose celebrities compete with their every Tweet for king and queen of skankdom in some effort to sell us something; and of course… the Russians.

         The elephant in the room is one you’re already wondering why I haven’t mentioned – parents. I was saving that one. I’ll go it even one better… I’ll lay so much more of the blame at the feet of dads.

         After all, who believes the dad who finds out his teenage daughter has been sending naked pictures of her body parts to boys is really shocked about it? Are you telling me there were no signs in advance? Really? Not since the Titanic hit the iceberg has a guy been more asleep at the wheel.

         C’mon, Dad. Maybe you’re trying to prove you’re a ‘hip’ dad or maybe you’re just not paying attention, or maybe you are paying attention but you just don’t have the belly for the fight sure to ensue with your daughter over skanky friends, skanky fashion, makeup, tattoos and behavior. If you’re a parent of a tween or teen and don’t occasionally commandeer your kid’s phone for an inspection, you’re an idiot. For dads, particularly dads of daughters, you are occasionally justified to be suspicious – even to be outraged – and to make it known.

         I hope I’m wrong, but I have a dismal feeling that skanky is an epidemic. If your kid is between the ages of 12 and 17, he or she knows someone – and probably more than one – who has sent or received intimate photos to or from the opposite sex. It’s undignified and stupid for boys, but it is maniacally lame-brained for girls.

         That’s because girls in particular will continue to pay the social consequences of that poor judgment, even without the Internet. These are the modern-day notches in the virtual bedposts – these photo collections held by some boys on their phones of all the girls they’ve been able to convince to send slutty selfies. And once it’s in bits and bytes, particularly once it’s on the Internet, it never goes away. So girls (and boys) live with that fact long after the crush has ended or the bet has been won. And you never know when or where it might pop up in the future.

         And girls, here’s some truth: No matter how much he pleads, it isn’t “love.” Think about it – he’s asking for a picture of your nether regions? Excuse me? Ask yourself this… why do you think there are so many unmarried baby mommas out there, trying to raise a kid on their own and usually still living with and leaning on mom and dad for the help they provide, while Prince Charming is still single and out there living the good life?

    Wise up, for Pete’s sake.

         It is a hard world for kids in this age of want and ego and deceit and digital treachery. Girls, don’t build a land mine out of false affection and then jump on it.

– Dane Hicks is publisher of The Anderson County Review in Garnett, Ks.